C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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