Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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