Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
