i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
