if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
