I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
