I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
