Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
