And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
