it was like his penis was on wheels.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Boobs are out for the taking
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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