Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sorry about my life...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
