I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
