Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
