She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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