Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Your cock deserves a montage
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
