Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
