what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
