meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
