You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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