Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
