chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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