I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
