Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
