Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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