Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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