Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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