And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
