She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
