i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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