Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
