all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
