oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dick very happy bro
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
