everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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