yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
