I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
