The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
