sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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