Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think I won the penis lottery.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Randomize
