I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
