Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
