Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
