I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
