kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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