Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
