Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
