Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
