If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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