my vag is so smooth its legendary
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
