Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
