before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
