Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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