Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
