To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
